It's the end of the world as we know it....again....

Well, Harold Camping has prophesied that the end of the world as we know it will begin on May 21st, so I suppose I should address that shit.

In case you haven't heard this fabulous news, Harold Camping runs a whack-job organization called Family Radio. I probably shouldn't be giving his website more publicity, but what the hell? By his own admission, he, his website, and everything else are soon to be obliterated anyway when God makes a shiny new heaven and Earth. But first, of course, Jesus Christ must return to gather up his followers, who have been awaiting his return for, lo, these 2000 years, like a loyal dog awaiting its dead master's return. It's about fucking time he came back for them! Would be quite nice if they all floated away to their Never-Never Land in the sky so the rest of us could get on with life. They can take the Muslims, too, while they're at it.

That return is scheduled for May 21, four days from now. Camping has plenty of scriptural evidence to back this up, just like every other prophet. You would think that, after all these centuries, Christians would stop believing any old random thing they hear; but no, they fall for these same crazy lies again and again and again. Not a year goes by that some nutjob doesn't offer up completely sound, 100% fail-proof, biblically sanctioned evidence that Jesus Christ is due to return any moment now, and we should all sell our homes, move to a mountaintop, and await the end of the world. EVERY FUCKING TIME, these prophecies fail to happen; and EVERY FUCKING TIME, Christians shrug their shoulders and go tagging along after the next self-proclaimed prophet.

And they can get very serious about it, too. As this article explains, many people have emptied their life's savings, sold their homes, and given up everything to follow the Cult of Idiocy espoused by Harold Camping. Do these people learn nothing from history? Oh, wait, they don't bother to study the history of their own religion because the Bible doesn't tell them to. It is no wonder, then, that they have no clue about the hundreds and hundreds of end-times predictions that have been made throughout history. Here is a partial list, supplied by Valigarmander at Atheist Forums.com (Click on the spoiler button):

Spoiler:

There's been a lot of buzz going around lately about the supposed end of the world set to occur on December 21, 2012. Books on the subject are selling like crazy, people everywhere are preparing for the end. So I decided to do a little research and take a look at some past doomsday predictions and see how well they turned out (just for fun). Here's a few of the religious, cultural, scientific, or miscellaneous predictions that have been made since the first century:

1st century CE
--- Early Christians believed that Jesus would return and that the world would end within one generation, or at most one century, following his ascension. Nothing happened.

2nd century
--- Prophets of the Montanist movement predicted Jesus would return sometime in their lifetime. Nothing happened.

365
--- A bishop known as Hilary of Poitiers proclaimed that the world would end that year. Nothing happened. A student of his, St. Martin of Tours, later claimed the end would occur before the year 400. Nothing happened.

435
--- 2nd century Rabbi Judah ha-Nasi believed the Messiah would appear 365 years after the destruction of the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem (which occured in the year 70 CE). Nothing happened. 3rd century Rabbi Hanina similarly predicted the Messiah would come 400 years after the Temple's destruction, in the year 470. Nothing happened.

500
--- Early Christians such as Hippolytus of Rome and Sextus Julius Africanus foretold that the world would end around the year 500. Nothing happened.

968
--- A Germanic army interpreted a sudden eclipse as a precursor to the end of the world. Nothing happened.

992
--- The Christian holy days of Good Friday and the Feast of the Annunciation occurred on the same day, which had long been believed the date Armageddon would begin. Nothing happened.

1000
--- Many Christians predicted the world would end this year. Nothing happened.

1005
--- A terrible famine throughout Europe was seen as a sign that the end of the world was nigh. Nothing happened.

1033
--- Some Christians believed Jesus would return to Earth on the 1000th anniversary of his death and resurrection. Nothing happened.

1186
--- Abbot John of Toledo prophesized the end of the world in 1186, based on the alignment of certain planets. Nothing happened.

1205
--- Joachim of Fiore claimed that in 1190 the Antichrist was already in the world, and that the final battle between good and evil would occur before 1205. Nothing happened.

1284
--- Pope Innocent III, leader of Rome during the Fourth Crusades, claimed the word would end in 1284, a date he came to by adding 666 to the year Islam was founded. Nothing happened.

1306
--- In 1147, Gerard of Poehlde declared that the millennium had actually begun in 306 CE, when Constantine I was proclaimed emperor. Therefore, the end of the world was expected to occur in 1306 CE. Nothing happened.

1346-50
--- As the Black Plague spread through Europe, many saw it as a sign that Armageddon was about to occur. Nothing happened.

1496
--- Some clerics believed Jesus would return this year, approximately 1500 years after his birth. Nothing happened.

1524
--- Astrologers predicted a worldwide flood this year. Nothing happened.

1533
--- Anabaptist prophet Melchior Hoffman claimed Jesus would return 1500 years after his execution. Nothing happened.

1669
--- The Old Believers in Russia believed Armageddon would begin this year. Over the next two decades, some 20 thousand allegedly immolated themselves to save themselves from the Antichrist. Nothing happened.

1689
--- Baptist Benjamin Keach predicted the world would end this year. Nothing happened.

1736
--- British theologian and mathematician William Whitson believed a worldwide flood would occur on October 13, 1736. Nothing happened.

1792
--- Certain members of the Shaker movement calculated the end of the world to occur this year. Nothing happened.

1794
--- Charles Wesley, one of the founders of Methodism, thought the world would end this year. Nothing happened.

1829
--- German Christian leader George Rapp prophesized that Christ's reign over the world would begin on September 15, 1829. Nothing happened.

1830
--- Margaret McDonald, a Christian prophetess, claimed that Robert Owen (a Welsh socialist) would be the Antichrist, and that the end was nigh. Nothing happened.

1844
--- William Miller, an American Baptist preacher, predicted the Second Coming of Christ would occur sometime between March 21, 1843, and March 21, 1844. Nothing happened. Admitting his error to his followers, he changed the date to October 22, 1944. Nothing happened.

1850
--- Seven Day Adventist movement founder Ellen White (who had made several failed Doomsday prophesies before) claimed on June 27, 1850 that only a few months remained before the End. Nothing happened.

1878
--- Jehovah's Witness Charles Taze Russell claimed that Christ's Second Coming would begin in 1984, leading to the resurrection of the saints in 1875 and the Rapture in 1878. Nothing happened.

1881
--- Mother Shipton, a 16th century mystic, prophesized the end of the world in the year 1881 or the year 1991. Nothing happened.

1891
--- Joseph Smith, founder of Mormonism, announced during a February 1835 meeting with church leaders that God had told him Jesus would return within 56 years. Nothing happened.

1914
--- An important estimate of the beginning of Armageddon by Jehovah's Witnesses (based on analysis of the Book of Daniel) pointed to the year 1914. Nothing happened.
--- The Watchtower Society predicted the world would end in 1914. Nothing happened. Later predictions were made for 1915, 1918, 1920, 1925, 1941, 1975, and 1994. Nothing happened.

1918
--- Following the 1917 capture of Jerusalem by Great Britain, a group of well-known preachers produced a London Manifesto warning of an imminent Second Coming of Christ. Nothing happened.

1919
--- Meteorologist Albert Porta predicted that the conjunction of six planets would generate a magnetic current which would cause the sun to explode and engulf the Earth on December 17, 1919. Nothing happened.

1936
--- Herbert W. Armstrong, founder of the Worldwide Church of God, predicted the world would end in 1936. Nothing happened. He later estimated the actual year of the end to be sometime in the 1970's. Nothing happened.

1941
--- Leonard Sale-Harrison, an Australian Bible teacher, prophesized in the 1930's that the world would end in 1940 or 1941. Nothing happened.

1953
--- "The Great Pyramid, Its Divine Message", a book by David Davidson, predicted the world would end in August 1953. Nothing happened.

1957
--- Mihran Ask, a Californian pastor quoted in "The Watchtower" magazine, claimed Armageddon would sweep the world sometime between April 16 and 23, 1957. Nothing happened.

1959
--- Florence Houteff, leader of the Branch Davidians, claimed that events described in the book of Revelations pointed towards April 22nd, 1959, as being the end of the world. Many followers sold their possessions and moved to Mount Carmel in Texas, expecting to die and be resurrected in Heaven. Nothing happened.

1960
--- Astronomer and pyramidologist Piazzi Smyth claimed that the Second Coming of Christ would occur before the end of 1960. Nothing happened.

1979
--- Moses David, founder of the Christian group The Children of God, predicted that a comet would strike the earth sometime during the 70's, ending all life. Nothing happened. He later foretold that Armageddon would begin in 1986, with Russia defeating the Western powers and establishing a worldwide Communist dictatorship until the return of Christ in 1993. Nothing happened.

1980
--- Leland Jensen, leader of a Baha'i Faith group, foretold that a nuclear disaster would occur in 1980, followed by two decades of conflict, and ending with the establishment of God's kingdom on Earth. Nothing happened.

1981
--- Arnold Murray of the Shepherd's Chapel prophesized in the 1970's that the Antichrist would appear before 1981, leading to the Apocalypse. Nothing happened. He later predicted that Armageddon would begin in June, 1985. Nothing happened.
--- Pastor Chuck Smith of Calvary Chapel in Cost Mesa, California, claimed in 1978 that the Rapture would occur in 1981. Nothing happened.
--- Bill Maupin, the pastor of a small Christian sect in Arizona, predicted the Second Coming of Christ would occur on June 28, 1981. He and his followers sold all their belongings and went to a hilltop that day to await the event. Nothing happened.
--- Reverend Sun Myung Moon, founder of the Unification Church, believed that the Kingdom of Heaven would be established in 1981. Nothing happened.

1982
--- Fundamentalist preacher Pat Robertson foretold for several years that the world would end in the fall of 1982. Nothing happened.
--- Scottish esotericist Benjamin Creme claimed "Maitreya", a religious teacher prophesized by many different religions, would make his second coming by announcing his existence to the world via television broadcasts on June 21, 1982. Nothing happened. He later made similar claims that the event would occur in 1997. Nothing happened.
--- Astronomers John Gribben and Stephen Plagemann predicted that when the planets aligned this year, tidal forces would cause immense catastrophes on Earth. Nothing happened.

1988
--- Self-proclaimed prophet Hal Lindsey predicted that the Rapture would occur in 1988, approximately one generation after the creation of the state of Israel. Nothing happened.
--- Psychic Alfred Schmielewsky foretold in 1986 that the world's greatest natural disaster would strike Montreal in 1988. Nothing happened.
--- Former NASA engineer Edgar C. Whisenant wrote the book "88 Reasons Why the Rapture Will Be in 1988", which sold about 4.5 million copies. Nothing happened. He eventually revised this date several times up through 1997. Nothing happened.

1990
--- New Age religious leader Elizabeth Clare Prophet predicted a nuclear war would begin on April 23, 1990. At least 2000 followers traveled to Montana to hide out in the Church's fallout shelters, many of which had quit jobs and run up large debts in anticipation of the End. Nothing happened.
--- Peter Ruckman, after studying the Bible, predicted that the Rapture would occur within a few years of 1990. Nothing happened.

1991
--- C.M. Edwards, who claimed to regularly receive messages from God, reported that God had told him the Second Coming was set to occur in September 1991. Nothing happened.

1992
--- Korean Christian pastor Lee Jang Rim taught that the Rapture would occur on October 28, 1992, at 10:00 AM EST. Nothing happened. Many of his followers allegedly committed suicide afterwards.

1993
--- Benny Hinn, a pastor from Florida, believed the Rapture would come in 1993. Nothing happened.
--- A New Age religious movement in Ukraine predicted the end of the world would occur in November 1993. Nothing happened.

1994
--- Harold Camping, president of Family Radio, predicted on his program that the world would end sometime between September 5 and 27, 1994, based on his analysis of the Bible. Nothing happened.

1995
--- David Koresh, leader of the Branch Davidian group in Waco Texas, predicted (before their compound was set ablaze in April 1993) that Armageddon would begin in 1995. Nothing happened.

1996
--- Based on the calculations of 17th century Irish archbishop James Ussher, many Christians since 1658 predicted the world would come to an end exactly 6000 years after the day the world was supposedly created (October 23, 4004 BCE), which would be October 23, 1996. Nothing happened.

1997
--- The Vortex of the Star of David religious sect of Luskville, Quebec, was said to have predicted the end of the world occurring on March 8, 1997. Nothing happened.
--- Biblical astronomers Dan Millar and Bob Wadsworth predicted the arrival of the Antichrist on April 10, 1997, based on astronomical signs. Nothing happened.
--- A group called the Sacerdotal Knights of National Security reported that a space alien captured and interrogated by the CIA had admitted that an extraterrestrial army was set to attack Earth on November 27, 1997. Nothing happened.
--- The July 29, 1997 issue of the "Weekly World News" reported that President Bill Clinton had called a secret meeting with top Bible scholars about a supposed upcoming worldwide cataclysm, with a date for the disaster set for December 31 that year. Nothing happened. The same issue of the magazine featured an article claiming that over 100,000 members of the International Association of Psychics had encountered the same vision predicting an upcoming apocalypse, ending with the complete disappearance of humantiy by the year 2001. Nothing happened.
--- Rulon Jeffs, spokesperson for a Mormon splinter group, allegedly spoke to high school graduates and told them not to attend college because the world would end before they would finish. Nothing happened.
--- "Superdave the Wonderchemist" predicted the arrival of the Antichrist during the year 1997, by adding 666 to the magic number 1331. Nothing happened.

1998
--- Early 20th century psychic Edgar Cayce claimed that during the winter of 1997-8, the Earth would acquire a new pole, leading to massive disruptions in the Earth's oceans and crust. Nothing happened. He also predicted that in 1998, a secret chamber beneath the Great Sphinx would be found containing documents revealing the history of Atlantis, leading to the Second Coming of Christ. Nothing happened.
--- About 150 members of a Taiwanese Christian-Buddhist sect led by Hoh-Ming Chen moved to a suburb of Dallas, Texas, to await the arrival of God, which was expected to occur on March 31, 1998. Nothing happened.
--- Evangelist Marilyn Agee believed the Rapture would occur on Pentecost, 1998, leading to Armageddon. Nothing happened. She later changed it to 1999, then to 2000, and later to 2001. Nothing happened.
--- The House of Yahweh predicted that a doomsday scenario would take place during October 1998, with about 80% of the world's population eventually having been killed as a result of nuclear warfare by mid-2001. Nothing happened.
--- Author Vijay Kumar predicted that World War III would erupt shortly after Middle Eastern countries (led by Iraq) launched a nuclear strike on the U.S. Nothing happened.
--- Noah Hutchings, president of the Southwest Radio Church, predicted in 1995 that the Biblical Tribulation was set to begin in 1998. Nothing happened.
--- Father Sefano Gobbi, a Roman Catholic visionary, foretold in 1989 that the final judgement would occur in 1998. Nothing happened.
--- Author Gary D. Blevins predicted in his book "666: The Final Warning" that Ronald Reagan would be cast into the Lake of Fire, that the Second Coming and the Rapture would occur, and that Satan would be bound in Hell for 1000 years in 1998. Nothing happened, and Reagan lived until 2004.
--- Centro, a religious group from the Philippines, believed the world would end in 1998, recommending that their followers retreat to safe places. Nothing happened.
--- The website "Nostradamus: Prophecies of our century" predicted that in 1998, Russia and several Muslim nations would attack NATO and other European nations in 1998. Nothing happened. Similar prophecies were made regarding the year 1999. Nothing happened.

1999
--- Nostradamus prophesized that a "great King of Terror" would come from the skies in July 1999. Nothing happened. Various modern authors made predictions about the world ending in 1999 based on Nostradamus' prophesies. Nothing happened.
--- Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, leader of the Rajneesh movement, predicted in 1983 several catastrophes such as worldwide floods, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, and nuclear wars that would occur between 1984 and 1999. Nothing happened.
--- Orville T. Gordon, leader of a Texan group called Outer Dimensional Forces, believed UFOs would arrive from outer space and flood the world. Nothing happened.
--- Sukyo Mahikari, a Japanese group, claimed that "mankind might be annihilated by the baptism of fire" sometime before 2000. Nothing happened.
--- Members of the Branch Davidian group believed that various cataclysms would strike the Earth in 1999, and that on August 6, their deceased leader David Koresh would return to the world and judge humanity. Nothing happened.
--- Ed. Dames, president of PsyTech, predicted that solar flares would engulf the Earth during the Easter weekend in 1999, annihilating everyone who wasn't hiding underground. Nothing happened.
--- Several Roman Catholic apocalypticists during the 90's believed the final judgement would begin on April 8, April 15 or May 13, 1999. Nothing happened.
--- Father Alexander McKenna claimed that the Virgin Mary spoke to him and told him that unless people abandoned atheism and sin, that most of the world would be destroyed by the end of 1999 in nuclear and environmental disasters. Nothing happened.
--- God's Salvation Church in Taiwan taught that Jesus would come to Miller, Indiana aboard a spaceship amidst a nuclear war in July 1999 to save the faithful. Nothing happened.
--- The May 27, 1997 issue of "Sun Magazine" claimed the Antichrist would make himself known on August 11, 1999. Nothing happened.
--- TV psychic Jeron Criswell predicted that the world would end on August 18, 1999. Nothing happened.
--- Russian scientist Vladimir Sobolyovhas of the Rerikh Academy believed the Earth's axis was set to tilt about 30 degrees sometime between 1997 and 1999, leading to worldwide catastrophes, based on analysis of various prophesies. He then told that aliens would intervene and lead the world into the fourth dimension. Nothing happened. Sobolyovhas currently believes that the aliens are in fact among us, but are in hiding.
--- Shoko Asahara, leader of the Aum Shinrikyo cult, predicted that the world would end in September 1999. Nothing happened.
--- The Brookhaven National Laboratory in New York fired up their Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider to full power to simulate conditions present immediately following the Big Bang. Several media sources believed the RHIC would destroy the world, or even the entire universe. Nothing happened.

2000
--- The Y2K scare: the date rollover from 1999 to 2000 in computers was predicted to cause major computing issues and possibly result in worldwide electronic failure. Nothing happened.
--- Various Christian groups long believed that Jesus would return in the year 2000, along with other occurences such as the Rapture or Armageddon. Nothing happened.
--- A 16th century Kabbalistic text claimed that in the Jewish year 5760 (September 1999 to September 2000 CE), the entire world (except for the land of Israel) would be swept away in a massive flood. Nothing happened.
--- Roman Catholic Ronald O'Brien predicted that a dark cross would be suspended in the stratosphere between January 19 and January 31, 2000, foreshadowing the beginning of Armageddon by May that year. Nothing happened.
--- Dan Millar predicted that September 6, 2000, seven years after the signing of the Oslo Peace Accords between Israel and Palestine, would be the date the Antichrist revealed himself and the battle of Armageddon would begin. Nothing happened.
--- The Efraim Society, a Dutch Christian group led by a man claiming to be the reincarnation of the Biblical prophet Elijah, predicted the Rapture would occur in September 2000. Nothing happened. He later changed the date to 2001. Nothing happened.
--- Jim Searcy, pastor of the Cumberland Presbyterian Church, believed that Prince Charles was the Antichrist, and that the world would end in October 2000. Nothing happened.
--- The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a Mormom polygamist splinter group, predicted that the world would end in late 2000. Hundreds of followers had their children pulled out of school in anticipation. Nothing happened.

2001
--- The October 14, 1997 issue of "Sun Magazine" reported that Noah's Ark had been discovered intact near Mount Ararat in Turkey containing several scrolls that claimed on January 31, 2001, the sun would superheat the Earth, melting both ice caps and flooding the entire world. Nothing happened.
--- The "Weekly World News" claimed that Professor Philippe Garoche, the head of a team studying a recently unearthed scroll in Athens, Greece, predicted that Jesus would return to Earth on July 7, 2001, to everyone at once. Nothing happened. The magazine also reported that the U.S. Federal Government was suppressing information about the end of the world, which was supposed to occur after China and Iraq attack Israel on December 12, 2001. Nothing happened.

2002
--- Monte Kim Miller, founder and prophet of the Concerned Christians group, predicted that the breaking of the seventh seal and the sounding of the seventh trumpet mentioned in the Book of Revelations would occur on February 15, 2002. Nothing happened.

2003
--- According to some Hindu beliefs, an avatar of Krishna was to arrive this year to establish a 108 year reign of righteousness, preceded by four years of cataclysms. Nothing happened.
--- The Pana Wave Laboratory group from Japan (which preaches a blend of Christian, Buddhist and New Age beliefs) believed the world would be destroyed by a variety of disasters on May 15, 2003, caused by another planet moving close to Earth. In early May, followers set up a camp on a mountain road 170 miles west of Tokyo to wear out the cataclysm. Nothing happened.

2004
--- A man by the name of Clay Cantrell claimed that the Rapture would occur on October 17, 2004, a date he computed using the dimensions of Noah's Ark from the Bible. Nothing happened.

2006
--- Glenn Beck, then an anchor for CNN Headline News, predicted an all-out war would take place on August 22, 2006. Nothing happened. He later claimed he was only kidding.
--- Dr. Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda predicted that the Second Coming would occur in Puerto Rico on December 17, 2006. Nothing happened.
--- Michael Drosnin's book "The Bible Code II" claimed that the Bible hinted towards an "atomic holocaust" and "World War" occuring in the year 2006. Nothing happened.

2008
--- The Lord's Witnesses, a British Christian group, concluded based on Biblican analysis that Armageddon would begin on March 21, 2008, followed by three quarters of the world's population being wiped out in the subsequent war. Nothing happened.
--- Russian Pyotr Kuznetsov, leader of the True Orthodox Church, predicted the world would end in May 2008. In November 2007, several of his followers barricaded themselves in a cave 435 miles southeast of Moscow, to wait out the End. Nothing happened. The date was later changed to June 2009. Nothing happened. Kuznetsov, disappointed by his failed prophesies, allegedly attempted suicide.
--- The Lord Our Righteousness Church, led by Michael Travesser, believed that Judgement Day was set to begin on October 31, 2007. Nothing happened.

2009
--- The European Organization for Nuclear Research performed their first major particle collisions with the Large Hadron Collider in November 2009. Several media sources believed the LHC would destroy the world, or even the entire universe. Nothing happened. (Note the similarities to this event and to the use of the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider ten years prior.)
--- Fundamentalist preacher Jerry Fallwell predicted in 1999 that the Second Coming would probably occur within ten years. Nothing happened.

And finally, in December 2012, the world is predicted to end based on the predictions of the Mayan Long Count calendar. But, you know, THIS TIME IT'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT.
(I wouldn't worry about it.)

Sources: Valigarmander , Atheist Forums.

www.bible.ca
www.religioustolerance.org
www.wikipedia.org

My favorite example is Hal Lindsey, author of "The Late, Great Planet Earth," which I read back when I was a Christian. This book, written in 1970, predicted that the United States would soon cease to be a world power, because the book of Daniel does not mention the United States in its prophecies. Hal thought that the European Union would eventually have ten members, represented by the ten horns of the dragon in Revelation. These events would begin to play out in the 1970s, and then Jesus would return. (A more thorough review can be found here.)

The EU currently has 27 members, the United States is still very much a world power, and there is no sign of Sweet Jesus in the clouds. Unconcerned about such trivial details, Hal went on to write several more books. "The 1980s: Countdown to Armageddon" predicted that the Soviets would destroy America, and the 1980s would be the very last decade that Christians would know because Jesus would return. The 1980s came and went, and no Jesus.

"Planet Earth, 2000 AD" warned Christians not to expect to be around after the year 2000. Eleven years later, they are still pestering us about their worthless, no-show savior. When May 21 comes and goes, and Jesus turns up to be missing in action, as he has been for the past two millennia, I will not feel the least bit sorry for the moron who spent all of his life's savings, all $140,000 worth, on an ad campaign for Jesus; or for the stupid woman who gave up going to medical school because she thinks she'll have no need of an education. These fools, and hundreds more, will be left penniless, homeless, the laughingstocks of their families, and some may even commit suicide in despair. Who cares? They are willing partners in their own downfall, and that deserves no pity.

As for Camping, I wish that he and all of his ilk could be held legally responsible for leading all of those simpletons astray. It is no different than some shyster preying on the elderly, conning them out of their life savings, and then skiving off to Cancun on his ill-gotten gains. On May 22nd, Camping will undoubtedly disappear from view for awhile, then reappear to explain that he may have been just a tad wrong about the date, after all, and the explanation will be long-winded, filled with scriptural references, and completely convincing to the next crop of morons that are bound to come along.

When history repeats itself, it is almost never for the good.