When it comes to sex, marriage, and family life, Christians have two main sources of information: Paul and Jesus. The problem with this is that it is like going to a vegan for advice on how to cook a steak--you are probably not going to get the advice you are looking for.
Consider:
Paul never had sex.
Paul never had a girlfriend.
Paul was never married.
Paul advised that it was best for a man never to get married, the only exception being that if he could not control his lusts. Marriage, to him, was merely a lust-control mechanism, and he preferred that everyone be just like him. (1 Cor. 7:1-9)
Paul had a low opinion of women. He commanded that they be silent in church and ask their husbands questions at home. Daring to speak within the hallowed halls of the church--and especially bothering the pastor with your stupid, womany questions--is a grave, horrible, awful, no-good, very bad sin for a woman to commit. (1 Cor. 14:34-35)
Paul said that a woman must not divorce her husband, but if she did, she was to remain unmarried forever. Apparently, divorced women did not experience sexual lusts and so did not need to be married to control them. (1 Cor. 7:10-11)
On the other hand, he believed that young, widowed women were gossipy little busybodies, filled with depravity and lust. God forbid that a young woman, deprived of her husband by his untimely death, should want to remarry again, thus bringing shame to Jesus and the church! But then he admits that they SHOULD marry, have children, and stay at home, because that will keep them from being all evil and shit. (1 Tim. 5:9-15)
He told women to dress modestly, but gave no such fashion tips for men. (1 Tim. 2:9)
Paul's advice on family matters consisted of three instructions: Wives, obey your husbands; children, obey your parents; fathers, don't frustrate your kids. (Eph. 6:1-4) Beyond that, there is nothing. This is because Paul had no family and so could not relate to the concept. He could not even relate to the concept of being married, deeming it inferior to celibacy and a single life. As well, he imagined Christ was coming any second now, and probably figured nobody would need to be married if they were all going to heaven.
Paul, in short, held sex, women, and marriage in very low regard. They were necessary, of course, but more to be tolerated than actively desired. Did his attitude mesh with that of Jesus?
Consider:
Jesus never had sex.
Jesus never had a girlfriend.
Jesus never had a wife.
Jesus gave no advice on family matters.
Jesus, never having been married, and having no use for a family since he was going to die soon, anyway, could not relate to such concepts.
Jesus advised his followers to abandon everything, sell their possessions (Mark 10:21, Luke 12:33) hate their families (Luke 14:26), and then follow him into oblivion. He planned to die and come back to Earth with legions of angels to judge the whole world (Matt. 16:20), so was hardly likely to give them advice on how to deal with family problems. They would not need families in the afterlife, so what was the point?
So these are the two main authorities on whom Christians rely to get their advice about sex. Two guys who never even did it and avoided talking about it. Sex is pleasurable, and anything that gives pleasure is, by definition, evil because it makes one focus on the material world instead of the spiritual. In heaven, there is no sex (or beer), so why should you want it here? Is it any wonder sex is a taboo subject among most Christians? I've seen them get indignant just from people making jokes about it, for cryin' in the sink! Why would God create something that you're not even allowed to make jokes about??
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